As I awkwardly crawled over him to get off the couch, I stumbled a bit. “Sorry,” I asked, “Did I just sit on your dick?” (NOTE: I am an eternal romantic). “No,” he answered, “…but why don’t you do that before you leave?” And, there it was: the reason his wife left.
I might not be the best boyfriend on the planet, but I think I look pretty darn good compared to some guys. (from The Dangers of Getting Too Excited After the First Date)